


Scars of the heart

by Florence_LaRoux



Category: Original Work
Genre: Car Accidents, Child, Death, F/M, Forgiveness, Guilt, Heartache, Loss, Original Character(s), Original Story - Freeform, Pain, Regret, Scars, mafia, organdonation
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-03
Updated: 2019-07-02
Packaged: 2020-06-03 03:19:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19455259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Florence_LaRoux/pseuds/Florence_LaRoux
Summary: Lozen had been born a scrapper, a fighter and hard headed. Many knew her, but few were given the ability to get to know who she indeed was. It was not because she didn't want to, but everyone she had learned trust or even befriend had in her eyes failed her. Growing up on the streets she had learned that you trusted no one and learned to rely on no one but herself. At the age of nineteen she met him, Kingston O'Keefe, he had all but swept her off her feet. Treated her good spoiled her she kept feeling the like it was all too good to be true, but throwing caution to the wind, she took what she could from him doing her best to not fall for him. It was not till that fateful morning she woke to him gone, no word as to why or how. She waited for a month, but he never came back, only it was too late he had left her with something so precious that he was quickly pushed to the back of her mind, tears were forgotten, and life moved on. Scars of the heart have a way of reminding one that no matter the pain, the triumphs, or loss those scars never truly heal or do they?





	1. Chapter 1

Sitting quietly at the table her fingers played with the small shot glass she had gotten home from work grabbing her small bottle of whiskey she needed a drink it had been a harder day than normal. Walking over to her wall of records she ran her fingers along the spin of the records she had spent the last two years collecting some of her favourite bands. There was something to be said of them being heard on a turntable it was more authentic pure and poetic.  
  
Pulling out her favourite Tom Waits record pulling it from the sleeve laying it the right side up she placed it on the turntable grabbing the arm swinging it slowly in placed the needle at the beginning of the record. The first notes of Invitation to the blues echoed around the room closing her eyes tilting her head back as the sultry sounds of Toms' voice filled the silent void of her small apartment, walking to her dining room she grabs her bottle of whiskey.   
  
Lozen walked to her couch sitting down she looked to her left seeing her favourite picture of her daughter. Evalynne it had been two years, four months and six days since the day she lost her child. The day the light and grace of her world went dark she had fallen into a deep depression, she drank, did drugs and lost her position at her job. All that Lozen had left of her daughter was pictures, a blanket a few of her favourite stuffies. The one thing she would never know where the few children were walking around with her precious daughters' eyes, heart and other parts of her body.   
  
Lozen found it hard to get out of bed, or shower in that time she wanted to lose her life, she had contemplated suicide, or just drinking herself into oblivion but if it wasn't for Father Pascal she probably would have. She doesn't even remember how he came into her life, but he had all but became her rock, the one that gave her strength in the blackness of her life at that time. He became the shining beacon at the end of the tunnel. He was still there for her on days that the pain became so overwhelming, the memories so tormenting it felt like knives were being pushed into her soul, she bled the blackness like a cloak.   
  
Lozen was back but on shaky ground, she was doing the best she could every day but it was the quiet of her apartment that made her world feel so bleak and broken. She worked for a Private Investigating Firm of Lazlo Stark. She enjoyed the work it kept her busy she worked long days and nights but it was the odd nights like tonight that they were in between cases and no work was to be done that she came home. She had been curious about Kingston she had thought about looking for him but decided against it. He never knew she was with child when he left, he didn't need to know how it was not like she had much to tell him other than she had failed as a mother. She didn't need him blaming her more then she berated and beat herself up.   
  
Lozen picked up the picture of Evalynne she saw Kingston's nose, his complexion his high cheekbones, she was their daughter but she was all Lozen's child he gave up the right to her the minute he left Lo abandoned in that apartment, it was his loss in the end. Evalynne had been the best of both of them, pulling the picture to her chest as she slid down the length of the couch pulling her knees closer to her body and closed her eyes. She listened to the melancholy sounds of Tom Waits voice, the horns, piano and guitars all coming together in a haunting tale of words.   
  
She let herself be pulled under letting sleep take her she knew it wouldn't last long it never did but for now, she would let it.   
  
**-A few hours later-**   
  
_"Mommy! Mommy!" Lozen turned her head to see the brown curls and light blue eyes of Evalynne as she pulled on her hand._  
  
 _"What is it baby girl." Evalynne pulled harder on her hand. Lo sat up and shook her head, and smiled_  
  
 _"Dada is here!" Lo raised a delicate brow and shook her head._  
  
 _"No baby he is not here." Lo let her daughter pull her to her feet she let her pull her along as she tried to run._  
  
 _"Looks, Mommy!" Lo watched her daughter point up she followed her finger when she saw the immaculate charcoal suit, his hair pulled slickly back his dimples. Evalynne, let go of her hand and ran for her father. Lo lunge to grab her before Kingston picked her up. "Dada!" Evalynne squealed in excitement._  
  
 _"NO! NO!" Lo fell to the ground stretching out her arms to get her grasp on Evalynne but it was too late._  
  
Lo jackknifed out of the dream she fell to the ground hard the wind temporarily left her lungs. Shaking she looked around it was the empty apartment but she heard a knocking on the door. Scrambling to her feet she looked at her watch it read ten twenty-seven.   
  
Rubbing her eyes wiping away the tears she waited again, whomever it was, they had the wrong door. The knocking came again walking the down the hall she saw the shadow of a tall person at her glass door.   
  
"Who is it?" she slowly stepped forward. "Who is it?"   
  
"Lolo open the fucking door!" Lozen's head snapped back up and she quickly stepped back from the door.   
  
"Who are you?" she watched the door handle turn but she quickly looked up at the deadlock it was still locked. "Go away before I call the cops."   
  
"Lolo, you know who it is open the fucking door. You are in danger." his voice sent a wave of sadness, rippling through her body. What was he doing here? She was confused and didn't want to see him ever again.  
  
"Fuck you!" she watched his head leaning against the door.   
  
"Please, Lolo!" his voice sounded like he was in pain but she didn't give a flying fuck after everything he had done to her.   
  
Lozen turned away from the door running for the stairs she refused to help him, or even talk to Kingston. She ran for her room she dropped to her knee and felt under her bed for her big hockey bag she pulled it out. She could still hear him banging on her door below. She blocked it out as she quickly rummaged through her drawers grabbing her clothes stuffing them unceremoniously into the old hockey bag.   
  
Turning to her closet she pulled it open she reached up grabbing the box with Evalynne's keepsakes she jammed it into her bag, running out of her room into the bathroom she lifted the lid of the toilet pulling out the vacuum sealed bag stuffed with a gun, and cash grabbing the small bag of toiletries that sat under her sink she grabbed them before she turned and ran back in to her room and stuffed everything in to the bag. Picking it up and ran down the stairs and into her living room to grab Evalynnes picture she stopped dead in her tracks to see Kingston standing in her living room.   
  
Dropping the bag she pulled back her shoulders she looked down to the framed picture in his hands. "Who is she Lolo?" His whiskey-coloured eyes met hers. Lozen looked away and went to grab her car keys he could have the only picture of his daughter but she was not telling him. Walking the short distance she grabbed her keys and turning on the ball of her feet and leaned over to pick up the bag.   
  
"Let yourself out the way you let yourself in King." hauling the bag up she headed for the door.   
  
"Stop Lolo." she ignored his plea she didn't want to hear a damn thing he had to say. She opened the door heading the short distance to her car when she noticed a Limo blocking her driveway.   
  
"I suggest you ask them to leave before I rear end the side of the car."   
  
She felt an arm wrap around her waist pulling her hard against his body. His beard tickled her ear before he spoke. "You are going with me, Lolo. Good thing you packed." Lozen fought him kicking her feet and screaming at the top of her lungs.   
  
She was quickly pushed into the Limo she was on her hands and knees when the car began to move. "As much as I love you in the position we need to talk." Lozen scrambled to the farthest part of the limo from him as possible.   
  
"First who is she?" he pointed to the picture of their daughter.   
  
Lozen bit the inside of her cheek and looked out the window. She wasn't telling him one damn thing about her life or of Evalynne.   
  
"Fuck you Kingston. You lost the right to know about me the minute you left me, Seven years ago." she kept her gaze on what was happening outside the Limo's window. She would find a way to escape when the chance was right. She would never trust him again. 


	2. Chapter 2

He stood at the bottom landing watching her Lozen was sitting on the beach her toes dug into the sand she was leaning back her short cropped black hair blowing in the breeze, it was the mix of the sea and the scent of plumeria he took a deep breath. King's eyes looked at her tanned bare shoulders noticing the scars on her left shoulder blade. She had barely moved in the twenty minutes he had been standing there, she had hardly eaten in the two days he had brought her to his island. Lozen only came out of her bedroom when she knew he still away from the Island.  
  
Seeing her again had been harder than he expected, he had imagined what it would be like to see her back over the seven years he knew she would be pissed off but the silence, it was killing him.  
  
He had stared at the picture of their daughter all night. He had a child and one that he would never know, it was something he was having a hard time understanding. Kingston had been watching over Lozen closely for a year his investigators had found that their child had been killed in a car accident with a drunk driver that had killed their daughter and injured Lozen. He had poured over the reports from the investigators for days he had felt the pain of his first borns death, and the guilt was beyond anything he had ever felt before. He felt the guilt of not being there to protect their child and the only woman he ever loved. Now she looked at him with contempt, anger, and pain with the eyes that use to sparkle with laughter, or how her whole face lit up when she smiled now her eyes only showed darkness.  
  
He didn’t know how to get her to talk to him she barely spoke to him, let alone look at him he struggled with how to read her anymore. He used to be able to know what she needed before she did but now she was like an empty shell of the vibrant woman he once knew. Kingston took a step down the stair then another he needed to be near her even if it meant she would scream at him or hit him he was truly fucked.  
  
He stopped his steps when she stood up, she turned around her eyes met his. Lozen stopped dead in her tracks, she looked down and fiddled with the pieces of string hanging from her tattered jean shorts he watched the minute she decided to fight her own weakness, she dropped her hand from the threads of her shorts, her shoulders went back and she turned away from him staring out at the ocean.  
  
Kingston felt the daggers pierce his heart the minute she turned her back on him. He took the last few steps till he came up standing next to her, standing taller than her but he looked down at Lozen. Kingston could see her splendidly long lashes, her light blue-purple eyes, her high cheekbones and plump almost swollen lips her raven black hair covered over her left eye. Kingston took in every inch of her face setting it to memory he stared at her. Lozen still could take his breath away she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.  
  
“How are you doing today?” she turned her head away from him and she kept silent again. Kingston rubbed his chin as he felt the five o’clock shadow, he kept his eye on her, but she didn’t say a thing Kingston let out a breath he was so frustrated.   
  
“Please talk to me.” Lozen turned her head slowly her blue eyes saying so much and yet concealing so much.  
  
“Just leave me in peace, Kingston. Let me go home.” Lozen turned on heel and headed back towards the stairs. Kingston stared at the horizon he didn’t know how to get through to her she turned and started to walk away.  
  
Kingston turned as he ran the few steps grabbed her upper arm spinning her around pulling her body into his. Lozen came crashing against his chest as she wiggled and tried to pull free of his grasp but he held her tight against his body.  
  
“King let me go.” King wrapped his arm around her back pulling her body close to his he stared down into her eyes, she struggled against his hold.  
  
“Stop fucking ignoring me Lolo! I am standing right in front of you, baby! Yell at me. Hit me. Just say something. This silence is killing me.” Kingston pulled her closer into his body. Lozen pushed away from him before she tried to knee him in the balls, she was fighting him just as he wanted, he wanted something from her any show of a fight, or yelling. She managed to slip from his grip she fell backward into the sand before she turned scrambling to get to her feet.  
  
King dropped to his knees lunging for her he caught her ankle he grabbed it and pulling her towards him, twisting her body and started to kick with the other leg she turned on her back, he moved up her body quickly grabbing her arms pinning them into the sand straddling her waist. Kingston stared straight down into her eyes she didn’t scream, she wiggled against his body and held on her, but she just glared dagger up at him.  
  
“Lozen, I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry. I had to leave you to save you. I’m sorry.” Kingston leaned forward resting his forehead on her’s he could feel her body so damn tense her whole body shook she was pissed off, and he understood it more than most would. She was scared, her chest rose and fell as she breathed harder he could see it in her eyes, she had hardened over the years, had grown up to be a mother, and now she was childless.  
  
“I’m sorry Lolo. I should have been there to protect you both.” Kingston spoke in a low voice, he knew she heard him she fought against him. Kingston let her go rolling on to his side watching her scrambled to her feet and ran to the stairs she didn’t say a thing she turned back and looked him straight in the eyes.  
  
“I will never forgive you!” she turned and ran up the stairs as quickly as her legs would allow her.  
  
King watched as she ran away everything he ever wanted was with the tiny female and he would spend the rest of his life proving it to her, he just had to find a way to show her. He was deathly scared of her, yet she thrilled him, and he would give anything to see her smile again.  
  
Kingston slowly got to his feet he shook his clothes out before he slowly started for the stairs. He was about to start up the stairs when his cell phone rang he dug out his phone “This better be good.”  
  
“We found him Kingston. We are in Peru he was a sneaky bugger, but we have him.” Kingston's second in command spoke, and Kingston couldn’t believe the timing.  
  
“I will be there as soon as I can.” King hit end on the phone before he headed up the stairs.


	3. Chapter 3

Running up the stairs she was vibrating her muscles hurt her lungs were screaming she stumbled up the stairs. “Dammit!” her shin rammed into the stairs she hit her forearms. Turning around she sat on the stairs and tried to catch her breath, her head was spinning let her head lay on her knee’s she was so pissed off and angry at Kingston. He had no right to touch her to hold her he lost that right when he left her high and dry.   
  
“Miss are you okay?” Lo looked up and saw one of the staff her eyes were soft and pleading.   
  
“I’m fine.” she stood up turned around and slowly headed up the stairs she wiped away the tears before she slowly headed back to the room she had been in she stumbled through the door and slamming it she fell on the bed just laid still. Lo wiped away the tears she was pissed off that she had a reaction to Kingston. Pulling her legs into her body she was pissed off and angry.   
  
Loud knocking on the door made her body jump. “Lozen, open the door please!” she pulled the blanket over her head when she heard more banging on the door. “LoLo. I have to go out of town again. Please open the fucking door? I need to know you are okay?” Lozen squeezed her eyes shut and tried to ignore him.   
  
Lozen just stayed silent and did her best to not move there was silence finally al she could think about was her daughter her baby she missed her every birthday her waking her up. Here she was with Kingston the one man she was angry at him, at herself at the drunk driver.   
  
She heard the door open and she fought to turn and look she knew who it was she could feel Kingston energy she felt her bed dip, before she felt his hand on her thigh she pulled away. “I’m sorry Lozen. Shouldn’t have manhandled you that way. It’s just the silence.” he was silent again and she pulled her legs in closer to her body.   
  
“Lozen listen to me. I would never hurt you. I’m sorry.”   
  
Doing her best to ignore his words it was all she could do to not turn and look at him. He was once the love her life the man that gave her comfort, his touch made her feel like she was the most beautiful creature in the world. She could remember when she was pregnant with Evalynn she wondered what kind of father he would be or if he would be happy?   
  
“I will be back in a few days, baby. I was wondering if you would show me her album.” she heard his steps retreating before the click of the door as it closed.   
  
“You already hurt me,” she whispered into an empty room.   
  
Silence is always a friend and her enemy at times but mostly her friend. 


	4. Chapter 4

Lozen had spent the past few days in relative peace, she had walked around the massive villa spending most of her time in the library, she had found the second edition of Jane Eyre she loved the story as it was one her mother read to her along with other great pieces of literature there was a computer in the Library but she wasn’t able to get on it without a password. If she could she would have sent an SOS to Atticus or to her boss Lazlo to come and get her. She had no cell, nothing and the staff was curious as to who she was one or two of them had asked her questions but she refused to talk. She would go down in the evening and get food even though they attempted to bring her food.   
  
She would run on the beach in the morning to help her sleep as it had been elusive to her. They had locked the cabinet to the liquor she was bored, angry and so tired. Body ached her heart ached everything was a cluster fuck. She didn't understand why King brought her back here and then leave for days. Really did she care anymore?   
  
Laying on the leather chaise lounger she kept reading Jane Eyre the only sound was that of the grandfather clock the sway of the weight it was peaceful and the only place she felt safe in this place. Lozen was lost in the book when she heard a door open she looked up to see Kingston standing in the doorway she looked back down at the pages and continued to read about Mr. Rochester and Jane.   
  
Feeling his eyes on her then the click of the door closing she kept silent trying to ignore his presence.   
  
“Lozen,” he said her name like it was his only thing holding him together. She didn’t care she had enough to deal he was in pain and she was happy he was in the same situation she didn’t care. She felt the end of the chaise dip as he sat on the end of it. She closed her book hard and started to scramble up and out as she went for the door.   
  
“Fuck! Stop Lozen.” she heard the pain in his voice as she slowly stopped. Taking a deep breath as she held the book close to her chest.   
  
Spinning around quickly she looked at him “Why so you can continue to tell me how sorry you are, or that this is the only way to keep me safe. What you don’t understand is I don’t give a fuck if I live or die. So do us both a favour and leave me alone, or better yet let me go home.” she seethed the words at him.   
  
“You seem to think I care. That I want you back in my life. That you are important to me. News flash King! I had the best piece of you, that was important to me and the minute she took her last breath is the day you died to me also.” hurling the last of the words at him she wanted him to hurt as much as she had, as much as she still did.   
  
“So do us favour keep away from me. If you are so fucking sure you need to keep me here or let me go home.” turning away from him she pulled the door open and left him where he sat, running up the stairs to her room.   
  
Turning the knob she closed the door behind her locking it. Crawling up on her bed she lay on her side and opened the book once more and continued to read as she did her best to quiet her mind and emotions once again.   
  
Kingston sat in the cold empty room that she had run from her words still searing his soul, she was right, he had no right. He just wanted to keep her safe and give her a better life then she had to live the past seven years. Standing up he walked the short distance to the big bay window he wanted her to talk to him but the pure pain and anger that spurned him were not only justified but she was right.   
  
“Sir, may I have a word.” King turned his head to see his head of housekeeping, Rosa, she was a small plump woman who over the years had become a friend to him.   
  
“Of course Rosa. Please sit.” Kingston turned away from the window and sat in the chair across from Rosa.   
  
“I don’t wish to overstep here but I over her heard her words. I have been keeping a close eye on her and don’t give up on her King. She is hurting, she has not made peace with the death of her child and then to have you show up is like a smack in the face, in the sense that you remind her of your daughter.” Rosa stood up and walked across until she stood in front of Kingston.   
  
King looked up at her and she leaned over and cupped his cheek. “You have not grieved for your flesh and blood either. You are trying to right a wrong that you can’t, all you can do is be patient with her give her room or set her free. You have to be honest with her King tell her why it happened why you left her in the first place she deserves that. Then it is up to her to decide, mi hijo.” Rosa smiled and dropped her hand before she turned and left the room.   
  
It only felt more empty than before and heavy with sorrow but it was his own sorrow that he would never know his flesh and blood and the only connection to her was the woman who could not even look at him with contempt and hatred and she had ever right he failed as a man to save her and to save the woman he loved beyond all reason.


End file.
